Jay Mariotti: Rest In Piss

The world's worst sports columnist quit the Sun-Times.

Gold Medals Returned to Rightful Owners

THE REAL WORLD CHAMPS

This one goes out to Greece, Puerto Rico and Argentina...

John Tesh: Street Status

People enjoy laughing at John Tesh, but I'd like to remind everyone that he wrote the greatest song in NBA history. Roundball Rock was the theme for NBC's NBA coverage during the Bulls' glory years. When I hear this song, I don't know if I want to shoot a game winning three or rob someone at gunpoint for their Air Jordans. Maybe both. Roundball Rock is like the basketball version of MOP's Ante Up.

Make jokes about Tesh's band collar shirt and embroidered vest, but don't try to tell me that you don't feel like flipping cars over on Division Street when you hear Roundball Rock during NBC's Olympic basketball coverage. Anyone who can dress like a gay waiter and rock a 12 piece orchestra to inspire sports related violence is worthy of Bench Duhon's Medal of Honor.

DeShawn Wants to Make Love in This Club

Let's just hope that the club isn't filled with 14 year old girls.

A Stunning Likeness

You can be the owner of this incredible t-shirt featuring an airbushed image of an obese Michael Jordan.  Available on eBay for only $50, this is the perfect tee for Weight Watchers meetings, auditions for "What Not to Wear" and matching with your boo at Great America.  The seller also offers other shirts, but it is unknown if fat versions of other NBA players are available. I'd be interested in a fat Kukoc hoodie.