Friday, February 29, 2008

Welcome Back Du

Chris Duhon has the sweetest Budweiser neon at his house Chris Duhon got off the bench to help the Bulls blow an 18 point halftime lead in a loss to the Wizards. Amazingly, Duhon received a technical foul upon entering the game because his shirt was untucked, leading to a quick point for the Wiz. Soon after, he jacked up and missed an out of rhythm 3. Du finished with 0 points on 0% shooting in about 6 minutes.

In the post-game conference, Boylan said the Bulls "embarrassed the City of Chicago." It looks like the team has caught up with its third string PG, as Duhon has been embarrassing himself around town for years. Shown above, Duhon crashes a Whitney Young graduation party and shoehorns himself into the photo. Cheese! (seriously)

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Duhon Still Benched, Needs Sponge

Chris Duhon looks for a roll of Bounty Completing the DNP-CD trilogy, Boylan kept Duhon on the pine as the Bulls beat the Pacers.

Pictured: Duhon breaks into a sweat as he realizes that there are no average looking white girls in the club. The back fat on the girl on the right could not have been helping matters, either.

Non-Duhon Highlight of the Season

What's the best part of this clip?

Zach Randolph's killer crossover?

The 28 footer with 7 seconds on the shot clock?

The off-the-ball movement of the rest of the Knicks?

Isiah Thomas' facial reaction?

All of the above.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Jason Kidd Beats Bulls, Women

I will fuck you up if you touch TJ's fries Duhon's second straight DNP-CD was tempered by the Bulls' second loss in two games. I think Hinrich touched Kidd's son's food before gametime as Kidd barely missed a triple double, going for 11, 9 and 8.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Duhon Benched

Duhon explains the difference between walnuts and chin-nuts DNP-CD!!!

In Boylan's best coached game of the season, Duhon played zero minutes. After the game, Boylan said that he "feels bad for Du." Fan reaction included an impromptu parade on Madison Street.

In a scene from the future, Duhon is depicted dancing at bachelorette parties in Lincoln Park after being bounced from the league. Notice Larry Hughes slipping him a few bucks from off-camera to help him out. It's the least he can do after taking Duhon's minutes.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Teflon Duhon Escapes Trade Winds

Duhon bought Wallace a basketball for each game Wallace played hard in Chris Duhon is pictured helping Ben Wallace load his things onto a moving van. Not shown is Duhon scheduling his move to Macedonia in the offseason to play in the Euro League.

A Du Du Performance

Duhon is drunk in Texas and cannot find his way homeMaster strategist Jim Boylan unveiled his 3-on-5 Offense last night in an overtime loss in New Jersey, simultaneously showcasing the talents of offensive supernovas Chris Duhon and Ben Wallace in the extra session. Duhon helped Josh Boone pad his stats in overtime by shooting a layup into Boone's hand. In another OT clip-reel moment, Duhon turned his back to Richard Jefferson to give him easy access to the hoop and 2 points. Olé!

Duhon keeps killing it on the catwalk with his array of t-shirts. It's cut off in the photo, but I think the shirt says "I'm drunk and I can't find my dignity."

Photo source: Truth About Duke

Monday, February 18, 2008

Bad Idea Jeans

Jordan takes a page from Edward James Olmos in American Me by hiking his jeans to his chest. Charles Oakley was waiting outside in a '64 Impala with an airbrushed Virgin Mary on the hood.

I'll try to find the photo with MJ wearing a hairnet and a dress shirt with only the top two buttons done.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Chris Duhon is Blackmailing Mike Fratello

Chris Duhon has animal magnetismDuring tonight's Haier Shooting Stars competition, Mike Fratello made the overstatement of the season: 

"For Chicago, this season, with all of the injuries they've had, Chris Duhon has been the guy over the last week and a half two weeks has really had a hot hand for them."
Really?  Since January 1, Duhon has shot 32.3%!  If you discount Duhon's career night against Golden State, he is shooting only 27% in 2008!  Does Mike Fratello watch NBA games?!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Starting Duhon is Ludacris

All my players in the house that can buy the bar
And them ballin' ass dudes with the candy cars
If you a pimp and you know you don't love them hos
When you get on the floor
and throw them bows.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Duhon Starts; Looks Fruity in Club

Chris Duhon will buy drinks for sexThanks to Kirk Hinrich's sore ribs, Chris Duhon was back in the starting lineup. In a performance that made nobody forget about Chris Paul, Duhon went off for 5 points on 28% shooting in 31 minutes.

I guess Duhon's "Mustache Rides $1" t-shirt was at the dry-cleaner that night.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Du

Chris Duhon and loose women Apparently Chris Duhon made a deal with the (blue) devil as he went off on the Golden State Warriors for 34 points on 11-16 from the field and 9 assists. Du's blistering shooting raised his FG% to 36% on the year. Look for Duhon to come back to Earth sooner than later, but we'll take wins where we can get them. As you can see, a great night from Duhon will not prevent us from running awesome photos.

In related news, Jimbo(zo) Boylan let Tyrus play the fourth quarter and TT burned The City down. Less Noce, more Tyrus please.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Chris Duhon is an Arsonist

Chris Duhon is on fireOver the last three games, Du shot 20% from the field. If you thought he was going to have a slump-busting performance tonight in Portland, you were right! Chris Duhon set the nylon ablaze with 30% (3 of 10) shooting in a loss to the Blazers. So you think Duhon will be out of the NBA next season? Right again!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Making Kevin McHale Look Like Jerry West

You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You trade Shawn Marion for Shaq
You had a bad day

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

An Open Letter to Andres Nocioni

Dear Chapu,
You are 10 of 32 from the floor in the last 3 games. STOP SHOOTING!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Defensive Specialist

The Bulls like to say that Ben Wallace's contributions are not reflected in the box score. That's true as "number of open shots within 5 feet of the hoop not taken" is not an official NBA stat. Well, here's something I found in the box score: for the second consecutive game, Big Ben's man corralled 20 boards. Wilt Chamberlain Brad Miller went off for 22 points on 80% shooting and 20 rebounds (twice his season average) as the Kings beat the Bulls.

Mercifully, Boylan played Duhon only 18 minutes (which was enough time for Du to take and miss one shot).

Friday, February 1, 2008

Chris Duhon Highlight Reel

Chris Duhon: All-Star

Sam Smith is reporting that Chris Duhon is expected to compete All-Star weekend in the Haier Shooting Stars competition. In this competition, current NBA and WNBA players join an NBA veteran in a shooting contest. At press time, it was unclear which league Duhon will represent in the competition.