Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Chronic

Josh Howard is Dallas' most blunted I was going to get out of the first round of the playoffs, but then I got high.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Lebron James' Back Defeats Cavaliers

The ghosts of NBA Draft past and presentThe Bulls beat the Cavaliers on Friday night, taking 3 of 4 from the James Gang on the season. Lebreezy dropped 24 in the first quarter, but was held to only 10 more the rest of the game. Coach Mike Brown has the thinnest playbook in the East (i.e., give it to Lebron), so once the Bulls (or James' back) neutralized him, it was a done deal for the 6 time world champs.

Chris Duhon and Jason Williams graduated Duke with the degree made famous by Josh Lewis' Myspace page. They also each minored in "wasting Bulls draft picks."  If only Williams' motorcycle had a side car, the Bulls would not have had to endure the Duhon Era. In any event, this photo must have been taken outside of Durham because these girls are a step up from the Z-listers (with high SAT scores!) they got with at Duke (making these girls Y-listers).

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Patrick Ewing: Real American Hero

Ewing believes the children are the futureCharley Rosen tells a moving story about recent Hall of Fame inductee Patrick Ewing:

One afternoon after a game day shootaround, Ewing was chauffeured to a hospital where he was scheduled to visit a ward housing children with terminal diseases. Ewing always resisted extracurricular activities (except for his well-publicized adulterous dalliance with one of the Knicks dancers), and he groused all the way to the hospital. When he finally got there, the poor kids were all aglow at his presence. But Ewing cut his visit short. And when a few of these tragic children begged him for an autograph, Ewing refused, saying, "I never sign autographs on game days."
In the photo above, Ewing enjoys a meal with his family, Miss Indiana Black Expo '92 and a dancer from Coming to America.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Duhon 08

Duhon hopes Obama names him Secretary of Bad Shooting The Bulls' playoff hopes came to an end as the team was beaten in Miami by a collection of D-Leaguers and guys on 10 day contracts. Just two weeks after he drove me to work in a cab, Kasib Powell led the Heat in scoring. Not much to say about this one, except that the Bulls are no-heart losers who owe their fans refunds.

At one point in his career, Barack Obama had to fend off concerns over his youthful indiscretions. I'm not sure that being photographed with the Black Matt Leinart enhances his credibility.  Thankfully, Jeremiah Wright, Kim Kardashian and the Ghost of Hitler are out of frame, sparing Obama further embarrassment.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Do the Du

Why is only one person in this photo dancing?Chris Duhon got busy in last night's loss to the Wizards, scoring 2 points on 25% shooting in 15 minutes.  Young Du can also get busy on the dance floor, as seen in the photo above.  Eastern Europe has some of the world's best discothèques, so look for him to feel at home next season playing for Zubry Bialystok. I heard the Vengaboys make at least two stops in Poland each year.  Who else is up for a road trip?

Friday, April 4, 2008

Chris Duhon: Trillionaire

Chris Duhon is the Janice Dickenson of the NBA Chris Duhon saw limited minutes in a dramatic win over the Cavaliers, scoring a rarified two trillion (i.e., 2 minutes and 0s in all other statistical categories) in the process. Bravo, Duhon!

Drawn to average looking girls like a moth to a flame, Duhon cannot resist ruining the photo of four Chicago partygoers.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Larry Legend

Ladies love lousy shot selectionChris Duhon is not the only Bull to look good in novelty tees. Here, Larry Hughes gets his Hot Topic on and clears up all rumors that he's in love with a stripper.

Larry's 0-6 shooting night in a loss to the Celtics also cleared up rumors that he should start on an NBA basketball team. Larry proved that he is the most versatile non-scorer in the game right now, missing layups, mid-range jumpers and 3s with equal ease. Hughes can create his own turnover both on and off the ball. Someone needs to alert the Hall of Fame to this performance:

First Quarter
4:20 Larry Hughes misses 19-foot two point shot

Second Quarter
9:22 Larry Hughes misses jumper
7:56 Larry Hughes misses 25-foot three point jumper
4:33 Larry Hughes misses 19-foot jumper

Third Quarter
8:26 Larry Hughes bad pass (Rajon Rondo steals)
7:37 Larry Hughes misses layup
7:16 Larry Hughes misses 18-foot jumper