34% From the Floor; 100% With the Ladies

Chris "more chicks between the sheets than Essence" Duhon tells Obama not to skimp on penicillin coverage in the healthcare reform bill. Interesting note: the hand on the girl's shoulder is actually Duhon's.

Eddy Curry: Big, Tall, Sued

Casual Male sued Eddy Curry for failing to pay for over $40,000 of clothing.  When you sit on the bench in street clothes, you need a big wardrobe.  Perhaps coincidentally, Scott Skiles used to refer to Curry as the "casual male" on defense.

Eddy Curry Is A Real Ball Buster, Obese

From Frank Isola's Knicks Knation blog:

Poor Eddy Curry. He sat on the giant blue physio-ball during a break from Monday’s practice and the ball exploded. Eddy fell and scraped his wrist but should be okay. The ball, which is used for stretching exercises, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Trainer Tim Grover might want to re-think including Curry's name on the ATTACK Athletics client list.

Note to Cedric Simmons: Do Not Paint Your Car Black and Red

Maybe Jamal Crawford wants to buy former Knick Renaldo Balkman's Chevy Caprice. Even Walt Frazier thought the basketball shaped speaker grilles were over the top. This car is destined to join Cam'Ron's pink Range Rover as an all-time joke eBay legend.

In any case, doing something this ridiculous virtually guarantees that you will be traded (sort of like me buying a Kendall Gill Hornets authentic 24 hours before he was traded to the Sonics).

Duhon Has Always Been #1 In Our Hearts

From Newsday.com:

Among NBA players, Duhon has a reputation for partying. "My personal life is my personal life," Duhon said. "My main focus here is to compete and make the New York Knicks a better team. That's my main goal and focus. I don't really comment about anything like that."

That's OK; we've got it covered.

My Point Guard Wants to Party All the Time

Duhon's signing with New York initially raised some eyebrows among Knicks brass. According to Frank Isola:

Duhon's lifestyle concerned team officials, who felt that the 25-year-old enjoyed the nightlife too much. When Duhon played at Duke, he would often sleep at the house of coach Mike Krzyzewski to prevent him from staying out late.

In an effort to keep an eye on Duhon, Donnie Walsh suggested he sleep at Mike D'Antoni's house, but Danilo Gallinari is already crashing on the couch. Isiah Thomas has expressed some concern that D'Antoni and Gallinari will get pumped up watching Sylvester Stallone movies and demand that Duhon buy them some Jujy Fruits. On the positive side, Gallinari can help Stephon Marbury rent an apartment in Italy now that Duhon is certain to take all of his minutes.

In the photo above, not even a popped collar and a quartet of mediocre girls can make a forlorn-looking Duhon forget about shooting under 39% this season.

Duhon Signs With Knicks, Looks Suspect in Club

It's official: Chris Duhon is now New York's problem. Donnie Walsh channeled the ghost of Isiah Thomas as C-Du declared his independence from the Bulls and agreed to a 2 year deal with the Knicks. Duhon's cell phone blew up like July 4 fireworks from Bulls fans offering to drive him to the airport.

It will be interesting to see how Duhon works in Mike D'Antoni's offense. Duhon has often been compared to Steve Nash in that neither player can guard anyone. Aside from that, Knicks fans can expect ice-cold shooting and a dazzling array of novelty t-shirts. The Bulls expect Larry Hughes to fill the bad shooting void left by Duhon.

New York star spotters hoping to catch a glimpse of their new point guard should keep their eyes trained on any place average-looking white girls get together. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get the champagne out of the refrigerator.

Patrick Ewing: Real American Hero

Charley Rosen tells a moving story about recent Hall of Fame inductee Patrick Ewing:

One afternoon after a game day shootaround, Ewing was chauffeured to a hospital where he was scheduled to visit a ward housing children with terminal diseases. Ewing always resisted extracurricular activities (except for his well-publicized adulterous dalliance with one of the Knicks dancers), and he groused all the way to the hospital. When he finally got there, the poor kids were all aglow at his presence. But Ewing cut his visit short. And when a few of these tragic children begged him for an autograph, Ewing refused, saying, "I never sign autographs on game days."

In the photo above, Ewing enjoys a meal with his family, Miss Indiana Black Expo '92 and a dancer from Coming to America.

Non-Duhon Highlight of the Season

What's the best part of this clip?

Zach Randolph's killer crossover?

The 28 footer with 7 seconds on the shot clock?

The off-the-ball movement of the rest of the Knicks?

Isiah Thomas' facial reaction?

All of the above.