Michael Jordan: Porn Star

There has been a lot of talk recently comparing Michael Jordan to Kobe Bryant.  Highlighting one stark difference, here is a story about Jordan getting with a woman in Colorado that does not end in a trial.

In the video above, aging porn star Kylie Ireland details the night the '93 Bulls visited Denver's Diamond Cabaret strip club. As a below average white girl who could probably lose a few pounds, she immediately captivated Michael Jordan and he asked her back to his room. After clearing the tryst with her then-husband, Ireland agreed. MJ shoehorned himself into the starlet's Honda Del Sol and the pair hightailed it back to the hotel. Before getting down to business, Jordan realized he did not have any protection.  Jordan made a call and, moments later, condoms were slipped under the door (courtesy of John Paxson, according to the radio host above). Ireland subsequently recounted the encounter in the well-known literary magazine Sexpose.

Ireland never again reached the rarified celebrity of Michael Jordan, going on to be romanced by the likes of Richard Dreyfuss, Grandpa Munster, Scott Baio and the gay Neal Patrick Harris. She later shot the cinematic masterpiece Face Jam based on her night with Jordan. Confused, I rented that video in '97 hoping that it was a documentary on the Horace Grant - Joan Esposito affair.

Super Mario's Career Off To Great Start

March Madness hero Mario Chalmers was thrown out of the NBA's rookie transition program on Wednesday morning after being caught in his hotel room with marijuana and women.  If the pair in the photo were the women in Chalmers' hotel room, I can understand why he needed the weed.

My Point Guard Wants to Party All the Time

Duhon's signing with New York initially raised some eyebrows among Knicks brass. According to Frank Isola:

Duhon's lifestyle concerned team officials, who felt that the 25-year-old enjoyed the nightlife too much. When Duhon played at Duke, he would often sleep at the house of coach Mike Krzyzewski to prevent him from staying out late.

In an effort to keep an eye on Duhon, Donnie Walsh suggested he sleep at Mike D'Antoni's house, but Danilo Gallinari is already crashing on the couch. Isiah Thomas has expressed some concern that D'Antoni and Gallinari will get pumped up watching Sylvester Stallone movies and demand that Duhon buy them some Jujy Fruits. On the positive side, Gallinari can help Stephon Marbury rent an apartment in Italy now that Duhon is certain to take all of his minutes.

In the photo above, not even a popped collar and a quartet of mediocre girls can make a forlorn-looking Duhon forget about shooting under 39% this season.

MVP Runner Up Wins Booby Prize

Cheesing it up with girls from Dave & Busters Shoney's probably cost Chris Paul the MVP award.

Photo originally posted on The Dirty.

Lebron James' Back Defeats Cavaliers

The Bulls beat the Cavaliers on Friday night, taking 3 of 4 from the James Gang on the season. Lebreezy dropped 24 in the first quarter, but was held to only 10 more the rest of the game. Coach Mike Brown has the thinnest playbook in the East (i.e., give it to Lebron), so once the Bulls (or James' back) neutralized him, it was a done deal for the 6 time world champs.

Chris Duhon and Jason Williams graduated Duke with the degree made famous by Josh Lewis' Myspace page. They also each minored in "wasting Bulls draft picks."  If only Williams' motorcycle had a side car, the Bulls would not have had to endure the Duhon Era. In any event, this photo must have been taken outside of Durham because these girls are a step up from the Z-listers (with high SAT scores!) they got with at Duke (making these girls Y-listers).

Do the Du

Chris Duhon got busy in last night's loss to the Wizards, scoring 2 points on 25% shooting in 15 minutes.  Young Du can also get busy on the dance floor, as seen in the photo above.  Eastern Europe has some of the world's best discothèques, so look for him to feel at home next season playing for Zubry Bialystok. I heard the Vengaboys make at least two stops in Poland each year.  Who else is up for a road trip?

Chris Duhon: Trillionaire

Chris Duhon saw limited minutes in a dramatic win over the Cavaliers, scoring a rarified two trillion (i.e., 2 minutes and 0s in all other statistical categories) in the process. Bravo, Duhon!

Drawn to average looking girls like a moth to a flame, Duhon cannot resist ruining the photo of four Chicago partygoers.

Erin Go Bench

Chris Duhon was unavailable for tonight's blowout loss to the Spurs. The official word was that Duhon had the flu. Bottle flu, maybe? In any case, Serbia has universal health care, so Duhon shouldn't have these health issues next season.

In other news, the Bulls raised ticket prices. Please shoot me.

Bench Hinrich?

Kirk Hinrich shot 0-6 for 0 points in over 16 minutes in a loss to the Hornets. For the second game in a row, the Bulls were outscored by 20 points in the fourth quarter. Is this a bad dream? At least Duhon isn't playing...

The Ghost of Kirk Hinrich is shown in the photo above getting his Beetlejuice on. Just as Kirk disappeared in tonight's game, his translucent skin helps him vanish into the background (or at least into that pink and mint polo). The girl on the right chucks up the deuce and shows her homies from Alpha Chi Omega some love. I think this picture was taken at the release party for her latest video.

Duhon Turns Back on Team, Average White Girl

"I probably won't be back." -Chris Duhon

Pop the Cristal, Bulls fans.  Duhon doesn't want to be here as much as we want him gone.  Duhon did not just get a DNP-CD, he was listed as inactive in the Bulls' win over the Jazz.

Du Does Durham: The Morning After

In the wake of Sunday's punishment, Chris Duhon said that his benching didn't matter because he had not been playing anyway. I'm glad he has a professional attitude. I mean, it's not like the Bulls pay him millions of dollars to show up on time. Although the dollar is generally weak, it is strong against the Serbian Dinar, so he should live comfortably while playing for the Takovo Lions next season.

In the photo above, Duhon hugs a pair of girls with "nice personalities" while wearing a hat from the Uncle Buck collection.

Duhon's Girlfriend Responds to BenchDuhon.com

A Tribute to Chris Duhon

In a stirring tribute to Chris Duhon, Ben Gordon shot 38% and had 5 turnovers in a loss to the Cavs. C-Du climbed the depth chart, though, playing 1 second more than Aaron Gray.

Shown above: After Larry Hughes took all of their minutes, Chris Duhon and Kirk Hinrich enjoy a light moment with their realtors. Ben Gordon is just out of frame talking to his mortgage broker on the cell phone. Adios, fellas!

Welcome Back Du

Chris Duhon got off the bench to help the Bulls blow an 18 point halftime lead in a loss to the Wizards. Amazingly, Duhon received a technical foul upon entering the game because his shirt was untucked, leading to a quick point for the Wiz. Soon after, he jacked up and missed an out of rhythm 3. Du finished with 0 points on 0% shooting in about 6 minutes.

In the post-game conference, Boylan said the Bulls "embarrassed the City of Chicago." It looks like the team has caught up with its third string PG, as Duhon has been embarrassing himself around town for years. Shown above, Duhon crashes a Whitney Young graduation party and shoehorns himself into the photo. Cheese! (seriously)

Duhon Benched

DNP-CD!!!

In Boylan's best coached game of the season, Duhon played zero minutes. After the game, Boylan said that he "feels bad for Du." Fan reaction included an impromptu parade on Madison Street.

In a scene from the future, Duhon is depicted dancing at bachelorette parties in Lincoln Park after being bounced from the league. Notice Larry Hughes slipping him a few bucks from off-camera to help him out. It's the least he can do after taking Duhon's minutes.

Chris Duhon is Blackmailing Mike Fratello

During tonight's Haier Shooting Stars competition, Mike Fratello made the overstatement of the season: 

"For Chicago, this season, with all of the injuries they've had, Chris Duhon has been the guy over the last week and a half two weeks has really had a hot hand for them."

Really?  Since January 1, Duhon has shot 32.3%!  If you discount Duhon's career night against Golden State, he is shooting only 27% in 2008!  Does Mike Fratello watch NBA games?!

Starting Duhon is Ludacris

All my players in the house that can buy the bar

And them ballin' ass dudes with the candy cars

If you a pimp and you know you don't love them hos

When you get on the floor

Score 5 points on 20% shooting in 32 minutes

and throw them bows.

Chris Duhon: All-Star

Sam Smith is reporting that Chris Duhon is expected to compete All-Star weekend in the Haier Shooting Stars competition. In this competition, current NBA and WNBA players join an NBA veteran in a shooting contest. At press time, it was unclear which league Duhon will represent in the competition.

This is How We Du It

Taking a page from Willis Reed's legacy, Chris Duhon cast aside his knee pain to toss a donut in a loss to the worst team in pro basketball. In 22 minutes, C-Du took and missed 4 shots, had as many assists as turnovers and never got to the line. I'm sure Duhon's teammates appreciate this inspirational gesture. Meanwhile, Andre Barrett is trying to remember why he was busted down to the D League.

Meanwhile, Big Ben had another "fantastic" game against Al Jefferson, holding Baby Al to 26 and 20 on 50% shooting. I'm sure Boylan was able to find some more nice words for Wallace in his post-game comments. This offseason, look for Boylan and his thesaurus to spend some time on a resume.

Duhon Might Bench Himself

The AP is reporting that Duhon's knee is affecting his game (Editor's Note: I thought it was his lack of talent) and he might sit out the next few contests. That's too bad because the Bulls could really use his offensive firepower while BG and Deng are on the mend. Just check out these MVP numbers from Sunday's game against the Suns:

5 points on 2 of 8 shooting, 3 assists to 2 turnovers and 1 rebound in 32 minutes.

I'm surprised the Chicago Fire Department did not shut down the United Center after Duhon's flamethrowing.