How To Roll a Blount

Former Bulls power forward Corie Blount was arrested in Ohio with 29 pounds of marijuana. Somewhere in Chicago, Joakim Noah shed a tear. Blount's arrest is somewhat surprising given that he graduated with a degree in criminal justice earlier this summer. Student loans are the worst.

Super Mario's Career Off To Great Start

March Madness hero Mario Chalmers was thrown out of the NBA's rookie transition program on Wednesday morning after being caught in his hotel room with marijuana and women.  If the pair in the photo were the women in Chalmers' hotel room, I can understand why he needed the weed.

Hennessy Got Noah Not Knowing How To Act

Is anyone really surprised that Joakim Noah was arrested for misdemeanor alcohol and marijuana possession? This story reinforces the old adage that no matter how successful you are, you will never outgrow drinking Henny in the street from a red Solo cup while scoping college girls.

Quick cognac story: Two summers ago, I was shopping at a Dominick's in Chicago when Shawn Marion pulled up in a customized white-on-white Dodge Magnum, parked in a handicapped spot and ran in to buy a bottle of Hennessy. I always thought Tim Grover's fitness regimen called for Alizé and not Henn-rock, but I'm not an athletic trainer, so what do I know?

The Chronic

I was going to get out of the first round of the playoffs, but then I got high.

Client 23

Everyone knows who Client 9 is, but what about Chicago-based Client 10? Breathe a sigh of relief Charles Oakley, because it is not Michael Jordan. MJ's attorney said:

"I have just received confirmation from Assistant U.S. Attorney Rita Glavin in New York that our client Michael Jordan is neither a subject nor a target of this investigation."

What does it say about you that you have to ask the U.S. Attorney if you are the subject of a prostitution investigation? Jordan's attorney could have simply said "The Emperor's VIP service offered thin girls with above-average looks, so our client obviously had no involvement here."

Based on that photo, Jordan should pray that he's not implicated in a dime bag operation.